On The Farm: Intentions VS Plans and Expectations

This year I have learned many lessons about the farm but more importantly lessons about me, nature and the grand universe we call home. Since my earliest recollection as I child I would visualize and usually with great success as long as I kept the visualization focused on my outcomes and not try to manipulate the lives of others with my dreams and manifestation attempts. If I had a project I would see it in my mind’s eye and then move forward the best I could. The same could be said in my work with the children’s choirs that I directed over the years. I saw the cantatas in my mind before the first part had been assigned. .I always viewed this as developing a plan with limited expectations. The end result was always great, not always exactly as I planned or expected but close enough that it made a believer out of me to use this in most aspects of my life. It never occurred to me that if I had allowed these EXPECTATIONS it to become part of who I was, my ego, my happiness or how I viewed my successes, it could have been harmful even disastrous; making me a very unhappy and unfulfilled individual.

Early on in my relationship with Randy we discussed “expectations” and how he had none; he also claimed to “not be much of a planner.” For the queen of multi-tasking this was a very difficult thing for me to wrap my head around. If I didn't have a plan, how could I get three things done at one time? I had to have a plan! We have had many discussions about plans and expectations. Randy feels that having a plan leads to expectations and expectations lead to disappointments, thus it is all a big waste of time, especially on the farm. I didn’t get it! I agreed about not having expectations but not having a plan… wow that was a tough one for this dedicated member of the “planning committee” to easily accept. How could we get the crops in or raise cows, or get the crops out, move machinery or raise a garden, take a trip, buy groceries if we didn’t have a plan????

What I have come to realize is Randy does believe in setting an INTENTION and having a VISION but and having a plan linked with an expectation is a very different design and not something he wants to be a part.

FARMING & PLANS; here are a few things that I have learned about farms, plans and expectations; I will start with cows.
Our plan was to have February and March calves. One beautiful evening the bull became bored being isolated in the far paddock from his girl cow friends broke curfew and went on an unsupervised date. He didn’t conform to “The Plan.” One brisk December morning Randy was checking cows and low and behold, there was a beautiful little calf, who I named “Lucky” based on his parents meeting. “Lucky” was not part of “The Plan” but a welcomed addition to the herd and his mother was a wonderful mother. He made the other cows eager to have a calf of their own and they all doted over the new member of the family. It all worked out splendidly, just as though it was part of “The Plan.”

“Lucky” taught us a lesson and come spring Mr. Bull came to live with us at the farm where the house is located. Randy decided miles were better than paddocks to keep Mr. Bull from going on unsupervised visits. There was a lonely cow that had not had a baby so she got to come to the farm with Mr. Bull. As we sat on the patio they would watch us as we pondered our next projects and we could watch them. This was the time of year that I was busy planning the flower gardens. Randy was working on the vegetable garden. He knew what needed to be done and what we enjoyed eating and that was all he needed to get it done… no big plan, no diagram or garden grid layout… work and common sense seemed be enough. He gave me a small tiller for my birthday and I was ready to chew up some dirt and plant some flowers. It was still early to put them in the ground but I had a PLAN. I could see my gardens in my mind’s eye. I was in the process of building a stone wall that would retain my herb garden. The plan was to make it out of stones from the Gentryville Farm but I was learning not to have expectations of what it should look like or it’s dimensions. I was working with nature, nothing was the same, no rock was perfect and I was determined to appreciate and enjoy the outcome as the project came together. I felt at one point that I understood Randy’s “No Expectation” philosophy. It was a slow process, the gathering of stones and the building of the wall but each step of progress made me very happy and the end result looked very little like what I had “PLANNED, ” it was better.

One evening after a full day at the farm and working in the yard, we sat down to have dinner. It was close to dusk (that is when we usually gave up and sat down for our evening meal.) We had taken only a few bites when Randy looked up and asked, “Is the bull on our side of the fence or his?” Given the fact that there was a large field of tall hay growing just outside the reach of Mr. Bulls designated area, my immediate guess was that he was on our side of the fence. Sure enough, Mr. Bull was grazing on the tall grass and clover like he was the King of the Farm. We were especially nervous because neighboring farmer had a lovely herd of heifers grazing right across the road from Mr. Bull. With his prior record of unsupervised dates it caused us some anxiety. Not only were the prettier than his pasture mate, but they had all been cycled so they could be impregnated at the same time… right then…. OH My… Mr. Bull needed to eat up because there was a party that was just about to start and he wanted to be the first to arrive.
Randy got Mr. Bull back in his area by tempting him with some feed. While the bull was enjoying his new course, Randy was busy trying to repair the fence that Mr. Bull had reduced to pile of smashed wire. Since this was not Randy’s first rodeo he was great at thinking on his feet, no PLAN needed. . Randy left me to stand guard as he brought the truck with the tools to where we were working. Upon his return with the tools the Bull had devoured his course of corn and was again interested in the new hole that he had created in the fence. Now two problems were at hand; keeping the bull from escaping over the top of us and to rebuild the fence. Randy knew immediately that we had to get the fence electrified to retain the bull until further repairs could be made. He volunteered to watch Mr. Bull and I was to get the fiberglass poles for the new fence. That was a much better job for me than standing between 50 cute girl cows and a large bull. The poles were resting nearby on the other side of the tall grass. I took off immediately to retrieve the poles worried that Mr. Bull would challenge Randy’s authority. As I was walking briskly through the tall grass I realized how dark it was getting and how I couldn’t see what was a head of me. I started thinking about all the varmints, who I was confident, that invisibly live in the tall grass. By the time I made it to the poles I decided to get an armful because I did not want to make the journey again in the dark, in the tall grass, where I was sure there were snakes living. Yes, Snakes. Just a day or two prior, I had thrown a small snake out of my flower garden and into the tall grass. As I turned to take the poles back to Randy I realized my open toed shoes were an open invitation for a snake to enter and crawl through my shoe and up my leg… I had no prior evidence to substantiate this belief. I have always had the notion that snakes are sneaky and what would be the sneakiest thing a snake could do??? I believed it was to find me, in the dark, with an armful of poles, in open toed sandals and to crawl up my leg. My mind was racing... if I feel the snake, do I kick of my shoe and scream or do I keep on running? Do I just run and hope for the best or do I completely lose it, disrobe kick off shoes and scream bloody murder??? Who would think in a span of no more than 50 feet that so many thoughts could race through one’s mind… well they can.

While these scenarios were running through my mind I was walking as faster and faster; as fast as I could go with my arms full and my heart racing. With every step it became darker and darker. I was so distracted by what plan of action I should use in the event of an attack that I completely forgot about what our dogs had been busy doing in the field. They apparently had been commissioned by the People's Republic of China to dig an extension tunnel to the Orient Express and the depot was clearly going to be in our back door. If you haven’t figured it out… the dogs had dug many holes but this particular hole, hidden by the tall grasses, was exceptionally deep. Sometimes all you could see was the tip of the tail of one of our large dogs as they worked away, dedicated to their task at hand. This hole was already so deep you needed your passport to enter. With every step I hurried faster. I was going to move so swiftly that any lurking sneaky snake wouldn’t have time to sabotage my mission. I was within a few feet of Randy when my right leg disappeared into the newly dug tunnel and because I was walking at a rapid pace, momentum kept my body moving but my leg had stopped and popped as pain raced from the bottom of my foot to the top of my head in seconds. As I remember I kept hold of the poles. Randy inquired of my status, with a hesitant, “you are alright, right???” and the answer was a resolved, “no, I think I broke my ankle.” I don’t think he truly believed my assessment but knew that I was unmistakably injured as he helped me out of the hole. I hobbled to the truck and assured him that he needed to finish the task at hand to secure the bull and in the meantime I would do another assessment of my condition. While I sat with my leg propped I recognized a few things, like, something was broken, I was in a lot of pain and it was going to take more than my daily Aleve to remedy this predicament

The good news is Randy got the fence repaired, the bull did not go on a midnight rendezvous and I got to see my own doctor in the emergency room the next morning to tell me that I had broken my leg. By the way…. This was NOT in “The Plan.”

Of course when I decided to mow the yard with my hard boot cast while he was at the other farm. That wasn’t a very good “Plan.” It was nearly dark; I had just a patch of grass yet to be mowed. I wanted to get the yard all tidy. I was mowing close to large round bales of hay. Something told me to make one more loop and when I did I became aware that a bale was on fire and quickly jumping to the next bale. I couldn’t run so I had to jump on the mower and race back to get a water hose. One wasn’t long enough so I had to go back for number two. I did my best to fight it myself. It was hot and fast but I was holding it at bay. After putting out the fire that was rapidly traveling to the adjacent field of crops, I knew I had better call someone for help and drove the mower to the front door. I had trouble getting the phone to dial so I auto-dialed the last caller, which was my daughter Amy on the other side of the state. I told her to call Randy and tell him to come home as quickly as he could. From that call help quickly arrived in the form of his daughter Mandi and family. At this point I had the fire contained to a couple of bales and with help put out the burning bales and saved the majority. By the way…. This was NOT part of “The Plan.”
Unknown to Randy I was planning a surprise birthday party for him. The yard work was part of “The Plan” of the party and four grandchildren were expected for a summer visit in just a few weeks and we had straw to bale and I was needed as part of that team. There was so much to do and I was so limited and slowed down by my injury

Although nothing was in “The Plan,” I am happy to report that I was able to drive the truck that pulled the bale lifter with one foot and we got all the straw baled in time to watch the planter sow the beans in the same field just as a gentle rain began to fall.
The summer visit with the grandchildren was amazing and full of something fun everyday they were here. Not only did we have fun but they were great help. They assisted both Randy and me in the gardens and me with my rock projects.
The surprise party with the help of many went off without a hitch and Randy was definitely surprised. He did admit that when he returned home from the errand that he was sent on and saw all the extra cars that he was sure that I had fallen off, in or over something and these were people to help in the emergency. With my track record as a new farmer’s wife, you can easily see why he had that idea.
So now I think I get it; making intentions is good and productive, for the most part no plan is needed, and there is absolutely no need for expectations. Having expectations requires a lot of rules and judgments in regards to what can, should or will happen and how it should transpire; all of which are very limiting to our growth and to our experiences. Nature has a way of making sure that what needs to get accomplished makes the list and the outcomes are really not ours to dictate. We could frustrate ourselves and have expectations, then be disappointed that it didn’t go as we had planned. In the end we are usually surprised by a superior result that is bigger and or better than what we could have expected or predicted; this seems to be a better use of our energy.

Randy and the farm have taught me such an important life lesson this past year about EXPECTATIONS. I do the best to live each day as full as possible with as many intentions as I can, as few PLANS as possible (being a recovering plan maker I admit that I didn't go Cold Turkey) and no EXPECTATIONS. Then I set back and enjoy all the marvelous experiences and daily riches that the universe continuously hands us. It maybe my imagination but since I have made an effort to not form EXPECTATIONS I have more time to enjoy reality. I thank Randy for all that he has taught me and I look forward what is next.

The one thing I know for sure today is; I could have never PLANNED this or had as great of EXPECTATIONS as the love and life I have found with Randy on the farm.

I Love the Farm

&

I Love You Randy

Is Today the Day the World Ends?

It has been some time since I have posted on my blog, but with harvest and calving behind us expect more more posting from this Farmer's Wife.  I missed sharing with you and with love and gratitude I share my thoughts and memories and I am grateful for those of you who take the time to read this blog.

During this Thanksgiving season so many people are posting their gratitude list of the day on FaceBook.  I have not posted the things I am grateful for this year.   I have a practice of getting up each morning and whether it is while I am moving about with morning routines or sitting quietly in repose I thank my creator for things that I am grateful for and give them time and space in my heart.  After such a peaceful meditation it seems redundant to post them on FaceBook, so I just move on with my day holding that love in my heart.  Even through difficult times (and boy have I had them) I have been so blessed with life changing lessons. In the end it has left me with such peace and contentment that I am not sorry for the road that I had to travel… there were lessons for me to learn about myself.  Our journey is about our lessons, how we can become a more loving and enlightened spirit; it’s really not what we can teach others.  If someone learns a lesson along the way from a detour that we take then that is a bonus.

We owe our children and grandchildren a much more positive outlook on our future.  When I read the rants and all the chatter about the end of the world, that;feels a lot more like a threat than it does enlightenment; it takes me back to when I was a young mother in 1976.  I had a one year old and one on the way and I was attending a prayer group of young mothers and watching TV evangelist, all who were predicting the impending end of the world.  I wondered why I was bring children into this world that was about to end.  I was so upset I wondered why I bothered to make my bed or clean the house if any moment it wouldn’t be evaporating.
My family came for a visit and daddy quickly picked up on the state of my mind.  To this day I can still hear his words and feel the peace that came over me as he sat with me on the front steps of our house.  I share the same thing with my children when they raise concerns about the end of times.

Daddy said since the beginning of time there have been stories of the end of the world in whatever fashion people choose to believe, Christians and non-Christians both have their versions of how and when it will happen.  He continued since he had been born (1912)he had experienced times when fear rose because of global and or political situations that illuminated people’s fearspredictions would run rampant.  He said this is natural and will happen over and over but that I had nothing to fear.He said, “You have been raised to trust our God and know he is in control. We can read that not even Jesus knew the day or the hour and no man will, so stop worrying and enjoy your life and live it as a Christian and in an  exemplar fashion.  If the end comes today or tomorrow, we will all be together and you have nothing to fear - but don’t live your life in worry and stress. Live your life full of happiness, love and face each day with an adventurous attitude, enjoying each day that the Lord. Has  given to you and teach your children to do the same.”  With a hug and a smile peace came over me that has lasted 36 years so far and will carry me until I am with him again.

When my children go through these sorts of feelings and experiences I share the same story.  I hope when their children come to them with these concerns that they share their grandpappy’s story philosophy.  Not only does it bring comfort but it continues to pass the love that daddy showed me as a young struggling mother trying to do the right thing for my children on and on making his love eternal.
If these are the last days, so be it.  Regardless, each of us is a day closer to it being our last day so we need to enjoy each moment, spread and share the love that Christ came to earth to teach us how.  Keep the flame going.   Live your life in a way you will not be embarrassed to discuss at the feet of our creator and lead by example.  Teach your children to do the same; don’t expect the government, the church or their school to do it for you.  People want to live a life of love and peace so they will figure out that you have something special and they will want to learn how to draw that into their life.  Rants, rage and negative energy will push those who need the love the most away from you.  It is impossible to walk the path without tripping and picking yourself up and getting back on the right path again.  When these time come that is when having a spiritual partner that lends a hand with you fall off the path or helps by walking along beside you holding your hand to help keep you along the way is so very important.  I am blessed to have Randy.  He is more than a soul mate, he is my spiritual partner.  His love is unconditional; he is here to celebrate staying on a spiritual path, to be beside me as we grow spiritually and to lend a hand when he needs to pull me back up on the track.  I pray I do the same for him.
If we bring light, peace, love, compassion and contentment into our life there is no room for darkness and negativity or as some see it “the devil” (nor do I make room for those things).  Negativity only brings unhappiness, stress, disease that pushes others away… it doesn’t bring anything constructive. (I don’t believe that there is anything constructive in th term “constructive criticism” J).

We have all been through a long year of political debates and elections.  I believe that most people want the same thing: to be loved, peace, to be able to provide for those they love and a safe place for their family to live and grow.  Because of these basic beliefs of the majority of people I believe that there is a powerful band of prayer that surrounds our globe… not JUST the United States of America, but the entire world.  I believe the majority of the petitions, in one form or another, are for the greatest good of humanity and for the Lords will to be done.  I don’t question my creator, I KNOW that answered prayers come in all forms.  I know not all healings come in the form of a cure.  But what I do know is the answers that I have received in the past make sense later down the road and so with this knowledge I trust the answers that I get – even if I don’t like or understand them at the time.
My wish is for my friends and my enemies to join me in loving ourselves right where we are, that we do our best to be positive about our future for our sake, for the sake of our children and our grandchildren.  Let us live each day as it is our last and enjoy, treasure and celebrate even the smallest of events.  Prepare our house for we are all are going to pass away… Let us leave our loved ones with the knowledge that we lived our best life, we shared as much joy and love as was possible and when they need comfort just the memory of our love will bless their day and each day until we are all together again.

I am grateful for each of you because you all make me think about who I am and who I strive to become.  God Bless us all; whether we meet again at the grocery store, on FaceBook, at a reunion, or in eternity… Until we meet again!

 I Love the Farm and I Love You Randy!