MY DAY AT THE RODEO

This past holiday season brought me more than lovely gifts. I started getting sick on Christmas Day while driving back home from St. Louis. The further we drove the more the sun hurt my eyes and by the time we got home I had absolutely no energy, a terrible headache, no appetite, a general uneasiness accompanied by a small cough. It seemed harmless enough, we had been putting in some long hours in preparation of all the festivities and traveling that had filled the past couple of weeks, so I thought since this was the first opportunity for me to sit down without feeling guilty about something I should be working on that perhaps my get up and go got up and left without me. Randy was full of helpful and health conscious tips that were sure to turn my health status around. 

As my temperature climbed higher and the more lethargic we soon realized that I was battling something more than a lack of energy, but the flu, which later became pneumonia. This has given me an access of time to sit around and think! The worse I felt the more my thoughts drifted back to times over the past couple of years when Randy has had to be my nurse and caregiver. I haven’t written a great deal about my propensity for being in the wrong place at the right time, but today I have decided to fill you in on some of my adventures since coming to the farm.

I think it should have been a hint of my predisposition to clumsiness when during one of my first visits I and my handful of leftover enchiladas tumbled into the front porch. Nothing was hurt except my pride and my enchiladas, but the dogs were the benefactors of that mishap. Randy was very sensitive to my embarrassment and we moved right past the moment into laughter. I would like to blame it on snow, ice, or some other act of nature but really I think I didn’t know the path and lost my balance

.

Everything seemed fine for several months until August. We were spending the day like any other summer day on the farm, feeding cows, brushing horses and battling thistles. We had finished chores and were off to play with the horses. We had been riding “Home Dawg” and his mother “Grandma” short rides near the barn but this day Randy, his brother Larry and I were at the farm at the same time and we decided to all three get on a horse and take a ride. It felt like the perfect day for a group ride. I had what I believed to be a special relationship with “Home Dawg.” On a trip to the vet to heal an infected hoof he leaned on me and rested his head into my neck as Dr. Stan worked on his foot as though he was pretending to hide from reality. I was very touched that he appeared to have such trust in me that he sought my shoulder for comfort and to take cover. Because of this and other tender moments I shared with him of course I chose to ride “Home Dawg”. Off we went with the sun on our face. Everything was going beautifully! We rode to the pond and everyone was happy then we headed back to the barn. I let the other two go ahead of me thinking that “Dawg” would like to be able to see where his pals were. “Home Dawg” had never been separated from his mom so he was always more content when she was within eye shot. As quick as a breeze and without any warning “Dawg” put his head down and kicked his hind feet up. I hadn’t done much riding since I was a teenager, but having broken a horse the memory of what happens prior to being launched into space and how it feels to get bucked off came flying back into every cell in my body. I had enough sense and time to get my feet out of the stirrups so as not to get my feet caught and get kicked or dragged over hill and dale. At this point I had no intention of becoming the bucking bronco champ of Gentryville. I no more had dislodged my feet and thought maybe I could throw one leg over and slide off when away I went flying in the air. I felt like a misfired missile with no particular target. I vaguely remember hitting the ground a few times. I need to add at this point that the Gentryville farm is a variable mine field of rocks. I remember my head rattling as it hit and then my right side, hip back somehow all struck the ground nearly simultaneously in a rapid fire motion. I didn’t have an ounce of breath left in my lungs. My first thought was can I move? I had enough good sense left in my jostled brain that I knew I had to try to relax and see if breath would return to my lungs. When I tried to roll over flat I was in so much pain I went back to the fetal position and quickly realized that relaxing wasn’t probably the right term for what I could do but I did need to stay calm and allow the lungs to recharge. It was reassuring to hear Randy’s voice; it was my first sign that I was still here on this plane with him… the pain was the second clue. Randy was asking me questions while trying to evaluate my mental and physical status. Of course his first question was, “Are you OK?” Clearly the answer was NO. I don’t know as I really answered since I had no breath but think I gave him a whisper. Then he asked, “Do you need to go to the hospital?” He really didn’t know me as well as he thought because my answer again was, “No.” After the first unsuccessful attempts of moving me I heard the two brothers conversing about my condition and position. I heard Larry say, “I don’t like her head being downhill.” Randy agreed but they were hesitant to move me at this point. In my haze I wondered to myself, “Why are they worried about my head being downhill when I have so many other issues to worry about.” One concern was; had I punctured a lung with a fractured rib, did I crush a vertebrae, break a hip, shoulder or arm??? They spoke a bit more then Randy leaned over and said, “You know you have to go to the hospital, don’t you?” and with that I made a silent concession to the obvious. From the launch through most of the day still remains a bit blurry but there are events and moments that stand out. The guys gathered me into one truck, called Randy’s son with a new smoother ride to come and take me the distance to the hospital. I vaguely remember some conversation over which hospital would be best. Since I still was not able to fill my lungs with air and talk, they opted for the closest. Off we went to the nearby hospital. The Albany Hospital is small and surrounded by farmland on all four sides of town. Injuries like mine were nothing new to them, in fact, nearly every person that cared for me that day had a story about getting bucked off a horse, ran over by pig, cow or some such farm event. Most of my caregivers had been bucked off a horse at least once in their life... X-rays were taken and I was checked over. Once I got an injection to relax my body the air slowly started filling my lungs more quickly. It appeared that my lungs had not been punctured, I was going to hurt for a long time but I would heal. I was very proud of my blood pressure being normal of course I didn’t take into account at that moment I was still in shock and of course my blood pressure would be low, but I needed something to be positive about and that was it for that day! Off they sent me with prescriptions that they assured me I would need to be able to move and I am sad to say they were correct.

We were to return to St. Louis that evening and I was to be back to work the next day to prepare food for a large group. Randy decided that he would get the car packed up and we would head back before the injection they gave me for pain wore off (GOOD PLAN!) That is just what we did. I drifted in and out of sleep most of the ride to St. Louis but I couldn’t get the conversation Randy and Larry had about my head being downhill out of my head. I was running through all the likely scenarios for why they didn’t think it was a good idea. As I started to wake up a bit I decided to ask Randy about their conversation. I said, “It was very sweet of Larry to be worried about me, but why was he worried about my head being downhill?” Was he worried about internal injuries or head trauma? What was it?” Randy took a slow deep breath and then guardedly said, “I don’t know how to tell you this but everything we know about medicine we learned from a cow? If a cow is sick and has its head down hill they usually die because all of their organs push down against their lungs and it makes it impossible for them to breathe or to get up. We just thought we needed to get your head uphill.” When I inquired what they usually did to move them he explained that they would put a log chain around their neck and pull them up hill. I had seen the log chain trick months prior to rescue a Mama Cow that was in trouble. I painfully held back laughter and said I was really glad that they didn’t get the log chain out to use to pull me to the barn. After a good laugh and once he realized I took it all in good nature, Randy explained to me that everything he knew about medicine he learned from a cow. Initially I wasn’t sure how to take his admission; I was hoping it wasn’t because I reminded him of a cow, he assured me that wasn’t the case, but that when there are health issues or something goes wrong with people it helps him when he relates it to his experience with cattle.

As a follow up, "Home Dawg" has since been diagnosed with "Moon Blindness” which is a chronic, painful eye disease and it's the most common cause of blindness in horses. We believe that the other horses were out of sight by his good eye and he panicked. I am sure he thought if he got the extra weight off his back he could catch up faster. Managing a blind horse has been challenging but right now he is doing much better. Initially he ran into a lot barriers and he had to learn how to manage drinking from the pond and staying out of the way from the bossy horse, Haylee. “Home Dawg” has regained the weight that he lost when his loss of sight peaked and he seems to be able to maneuver the obstacles with more ease and fewer bumps and bruises. I too have recovered from most of my bumps and bruises and have been on a horse since but “Home Dawg” has been retired from the saddle.

I am so fortunate that Randy has such a loving, logical way of dealing with challenges. I have certainly been the benefactor of his studying and experience in both animal husbandry and yoga. It reminds me that every experience is a lesson. Lessons put tools in our tool chest to pull out at just the right moment to use to prevent or assist in a those times when a decision needs to be made. Education teaches us how to think but life teaches us the important lessons that we use every day. All our crazy, scary, fun, life altering experiences make us the interesting individuals that we eventually become. I am hoping my future days are filled with less physical lessons but if they come my way, I am thankful for having an auto-didactic vet for a husband!

I Love The Farm

And

I Love You Randy!

Click to play:   GeneAutry - BackInTheSaddleAgain

SEASONS ON THE FARM

Winter on the Farm

I am finding that as I get older my thoughts, attitudes and beliefs have made and continue to
make many shifts. I suppose maturity is a contributing factor and reality is another component. This past few weeks filled with final goodbyes has made me very reflective. Being on the farm helps me to better accept changes. Having the ability to expose our grandchildren to the ups and downs of farm life offers all of us a tremendous opportunity to learn and discuss life altering lessons. Life on the farm there is nothing carved in stone, nothing can be done exactly the same way with the same results because of the vast amount of varying factors. It teaches you to think on your feet, to make decisions based on the best information in that moment, to celebrate little and big successes, to mourn losses while continuing to move forward and to find God and Love in every tree, blade of grass, cow, calf, horse… even in the weeds. When you are able to recognize the Divine in everything creates an environment of acceptance and is an aid to move through the challenges and into the next season.

I recall one of my first trips to check cows with Randy; it was a very cold day. The weather was unpredictable, it didn’t know whether to snow, sleet or rain. The wind seemed to be blowing from the four corners of the earth while it appeared that you could reach up and touch the heavy clouds filled with moisture and decreasing visibility. I had been a city girl for well over 25 years so I really wasn’t prepared or appropriately attired for checking cows in such inclement weather. It was calving season and one of the Momma Cows had found herself in a most compromising position while in the middle of a breech birth. I knew about breech births… was one, had one, seen a lot of them but they were humans! A “Footling Breech” when a calf’s leg is presented hanging out of a cow while she is stuck in mud and about to fall in the pond presents an entirely different picture than that of a woman in labor, laying in a sanitary room with the option of a disinfected operating room steps away ready to resolve the situation quickly and safely. There was a whole lot of pulling, pleading, pushing and praying going on in the midst of the rain, sleet and snow. I was so wet that I could hardly keep my behind on the four wheeler while Randy pulled her with the truck I helped urge Momma to get to the security of the barn lot to be ready for Dr. Stan’s arrival. That day I learned that a log chain is a good thing if you are a cow in trouble. Randy was worried that I would consider it a ruthless act to do to a poor struggling mother. My training and life skills had taught me that there were times that you have to move as quickly as possible in the best interest of mother and baby and this was certainly one of these times. We had been working for what felt like hours and I was encouraged that we had her somewhere secure where she could be helped.

                                                                                               Spring on the Farm

Dr. Stan arrived and was able to save the mother but the calf was lifeless. The guys were concerned about my reaction to the dead calf being torn from the mother, but at this point I was worried about Momma Cow, her health and her loss. This was not an occasion for Anita to have a pity party for being an observer of life cycles.

There are other things on the farm to grieve, such as a beautiful crop that is full of hope and dreams only to be lost before it’s time to an early frost. We and other farmers in our area have struggled this year with ponds drying up, grass burning up, low hay production; the list could go on and on. The over bearing heat this past summer has taken a toll on almost everything farm related including the farmers. These are things you cannot plan for and dare not dream, yet they are things that you have to learn to move forward through, change plans, alter plans, maybe change plans again; each time acting on the best information that you have at that very moment.

Farm life teaches us that there are animals that appear to be problem predators when actually they are just there to clean up what man or nature has left behind. Every animal has their job and rarely is it to infringe on our world. With their own calling, the vultures, hawks and coyotes are part of this Divine continued existence.

When we discovered that one of the horses had become blind it was a sad and confusing moment for all of us, including the horses. We didn’t know what would be right for “Home Dawg.” We took each day at a time and carefully watched his progress. We eventually realized that he was learning to move forward through his crisis. There were times he struggled, lost some weight, and became scared and frustrated, but he kept moving forward. “Home Dawg” learned to work through his challenges and seemed to come to a point of acceptance of his unfortunate disability. He has gained his weight back and has learned how to follow his mom, “Grandma,” around by sound, scent and touch to find water and safety. There has been challenges, scrapes, bumps and I am sure a few horse tears but he has remained persistent and has conformed to what life is for him today.

On days when Randy and I are sitting in the pasture, surrounded by stillness and tranquility, I am sure I can hear the laughter of the grandchildren skipping rocks, feeding apples to horses, pretending to be a cow so they can get close enough to the cows to scratch their heads, playing “King of the Mountain” on stacks of straw or giggling as they race off on the four wheeler to check cows with Papa. They leave an indelible imprint of laughter and joy that envelops us while we wait for a new season and their next visit. Thank goodness for the seasons for us to “embrace, to dance, to love, to speak,” remembering to honor these moments during our days are as important as honoring those that teach us the more somber life lessons.

Farm life brings us so many alterations as does our everyday life. I know that for every action there is a reaction and I need to believe there is also a purpose. This has been a month of alterations for us, our family and friends. We have said good bye to an amazing woman and man who had long lives full of accomplishments, love and legacies as well as a young man who was taken before any of us were ready to let him go. But like the emergency with the cow, it is not a time for me to have a pity party for myself or those of us left behind, but to celebrate each life, brought to us at just the right time and returned home right on schedule. We have to learn to roll with it when the “Divine’s” schedule is not compatible with our.

No truer, more consoling words have ever been written to help us grieve; move through the pain and to keep moving forward than

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

To everything there is a season,

a time for every purpose under the sun.

A time to be born and a time to die;

a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

a time to kill and a time to heal ...

a time to weep and a time to laugh; 

a time to mourn and a time to dance ... 

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; 

a time to lose and a time to seek; 

a time to rend and a time to sew; 

a time to keep silent and a time to speak; 

a time to love and a time to hate; 

a time for war and a time for peace. 

The wondrous part of Farm Life is “….a time to laugh” “….a time to pluck that which is planted.” Reaping what has been sown is a celebration even if a condition beyond our control creates it into “a time to weep.” To sincerely appreciate and enjoy Farm Life is to learn the lessons that are available to us and taking the time to rejoice in each day’s offerings, accomplishments and lessons.


               Summer on the Farm

For every season of our life on and off of the farm, we rest in the knowledge that for “everything there is a season,” a time and a purpose that puts our lives in balance with the Divine. During these cold months the grass appears to be dead and gone; but actually it is lying dormant, hidden under the earth, waiting for just the right moment in time and season for its first shoots to appear as it embarks on the job of yielding a new crop to nurture the livestock.

Like the grass our lives are waiting for the right season to spring forth into a new and eternal life with all those who have gone ahead of us to prepare celebrations on behalf of our arrival. This week has been such a reminder to me that all we have is the day we are given, no promises or known contracts. It is our responsibility to fill those days with love, generosity of heart and spirit, to be of service to others, to protect those who can’t care for themselves and love others, especially those that feel the most unlovable.

Let’s make hay while the sun shines and rest in the knowledge that our life that we witness today is just a nanosecond in time laying wait for our magnificent New Season to arrive.

 

 Autumn on the Farm 

Without Randy none of these glorious experiences would have been possible;
he came to me in the Perfect Season.

Now you know why

I LOVE THE FARM

And

I LOVE YOU RANDY!

Enjoy this link of Turn Turn Turn performed by the Byrds
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB6jhbtDUZE

WELCOMING 2013

2012 was a year filled with blessings, joy, laughter, tears, hard work, broken bones, broken hearts, beautiful memories, grandchildren, celebrations new beginnings, final goodbyes to dear friends, hellos to new friends, establishing new relationships with old friends – and more!  Through every moment of everything that the year brought, the one constant, loving truth is that Randy and I have had each other to share in the walk through these adventures holding hands, supporting and loving each other.  As long as there is life there will be changes, some good, some sad, some scary; but when it is distributed over the shoulders of two people that love each other the weight is always easier to bare and sometimes hardly noticeable.  I am so grateful and blessed to have my spiritual partner, best friend, teacher and confident by my side and to share every moment. Randy’s shoulders are broader and stronger than mine but my heart grows larger each day.

I am very fortunate to have the peace, serenity and solitude of the farm that allows me time and space to reflect on the newly passed 2012 and to ponder the New Year of 2013.   I have opened my heart and mind to pen some of the things I want for those I care about and myself in our New Year.  I believe there are many things that we each can do that will improve the world one person at a time.

May we expect and believe that the New Year holds exciting new adventures for each of us.   Simply by living on this planet we will always be surrounded by chaotic energy that we will have to make choices whether to accept into our life or to walk away; may we expect and believe that we will make the right choices.

May we expect and believe that when there is a choice to make that we will choose the one that does not bring harm to ourselves or others, the choice that expresses the most love for humanity, the one that will make us a better person and a more virtuous example.

May we remember where we came from; remembering the friends, family, organizations, mentors and lessons that has helped us to be the people we are today.  May we know and remember that none of us travel this life alone and to be grateful for those that have been placed in our path at just the right time; may we be that for at least one person this year.

May we never feel superior to anyone; we are each created by the same God and have been given a sacred purpose that we all must honor.  Regardless of race, color or creed we are all here with a sacred contract.  The family we were born into, the house we live in, the clothes we wear, the size of our bank accounts, they are simply a temporary façade that makes us appear unique but will one day fall away leaving only our spirits. May we honor the divine in each person that we meet - even those whom we disagree.

May we do our best to keep our thoughts clear and to not be swept in by hatemongers to be used as their instrument to spread their ethos of enmity.   May we be used as a tool of love and light to soften the heart of others so they can let go of their fears that separate them from the fullness of life.

May 2013 bring you the kind of energy tenfold that you invest into our world, invest wisely.

May we remember those that we loved and lost in 2012 and celebrate their new life of living in the light of pure love. 

One wish I have for all of us is to make every effort to eliminate the manufacturing and spreading of negativity in thoughts and actions.  Negative, unconstructive thoughts are like sugar to yeast, making negative thoughts double.  This doesn’t mean to live in a world of rose colored glasses but hanging on to, looking for and creating more negative thoughts will not make the world better.  There is a way to stand up for what you believe without tearing down or shredding the life or spirit of others.  If it makes a person feel better by surrounding themselves with negativity they need to immediately step back and see what needs to be fixed in their lives.  If a person can only see sadness, evil, anger, distortion, lies or conspiracy then one needs to see what is lacking in their hearts that allows these things to flood their thoughts and emotions.  Fear, Control or loss of control is most often at the root of these cancerous thoughts.  I pray that we all can identify and erase fear and control issues each time they creep into our life and help others do the same while loving them unconditionally.

Spread your story of light and love to all those in your path.

 

May you all be blessed with all the joy and love that is yours to claim in the New Year. 

Thank you for reading and sharing my blog.  I look forward to sharing more stories from the farm in the coming weeks and months to help record the amazing year of 2013!                                                

I Love the Farm

And 

I Love You Randy!

©